Sunday, April 23, 2006

still didnt speak to her since the other time. but ironically, i always meet her at the campus and we will walk pass each other like total strangers.. instead of meeting one of those bitch (jwen, HA! ) i always see her. there will be this awkwardness inside me and the indecisive me comes up, whether to talk to her or not. i'm no longer mad or whatever. its just that i cant bring myself to say hi or anything else. isn't it stupid? the best thing is none of them tries to bring us together and it seems like all has lost contact with her. is the 4 years together that fragile and worthless?
there will be this urge to confront them and wake them up.. am i that naive? sometimes i feel very disgusted when they pretend like nthing has happened.. and shes not our friend anymore. i hate it, hate the fact that despite telling myself to understand that its all human's nature, i still get upset and disgusted by it. i know i'm human too, thats why i often remind myself that i cant be like that too.
f. i just hate myself to the core.